Published on January 28th, 2010.
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Before I begin, I warn that some factors of this article may be disheartening to you and I suggest that anyone not curious enough saves this article for last, if they ever really must read it.

Everyone Is Terrible

An unfortunate truth is that most humans have some degree of selfishness that is so relative, we don't even think twice about it. Charity: wonderful, isn't it? You give some of your livelihood (money, time, belongings) to the needy and you feel good about it. Oh, what was that? Ah, you feel good about it. Do you suppose you would still donate your livelihood if you felt bad about it? No, instead you donate your livelihood for the sake of feeling good - and, in some cases, to clear stuff out of your house. This appears to reason that most acts of kindness are done so that you feel good about yourself - and, in some cases, to avoid trouble. The good news is you don't really have to feel too bad about this, because...

you thrive in relativity. People may donate to charity, or help others, because they just want to feel good about their life, like they've had an effect on the world, but just think then, how terrible the ones who don't do that must be? They're so absolutely selfish that they cannot gain joy from helping others, and must consciously make the decision that they need to help themselves in other ways. So there you go! Now feel better. Unless you are not a benevolent person. Then you should feel worse.

This ties into the terribleness of relationships. I confess I'm not a very social person, but I do like to see people occasionally. This is because it's nice for a change, and it's fun. Oh, what was that? I see people because I have fun with them. The only way to see people is to get together with them. I use people to enjoy myself. And you know what? I'm not a bad case. Not. One. Bit.

"I'm bored!", "SITTING IN THE HOUSE, BORED", "nothing to do... plans?" - such messages sprawl across my Facebook feed. It is a small cry for help, and if embrace your terribleness, you will easily translate these pleas of potential activity to "My fun meter is low as well as my social meter, and I require assistance in fixing such issues". So as you see, it is another selfish act. Do I feel bad that the only reason I want to see my friend is because I enjoy his company? No! The only reason I do anything pleasurable is because it is just that - pleasure, stress relief. I just mean to break the illusion that someone who is quite social may not be doing it because he's "for the people", that it's some kind of selfless act - but rather that he is not doing anyone favors. (unless he is, via charity/companionship)

Do you regret reading this yet? No? That's because I provided you with comforting - albeit true - words that ease your heart. The next segments will be darker.

Hedonism and Why You Are Born Terrible

The basic idea behind hedonistic thought is that pleasure is the most important thing for a person. Hedonists tend to be selfish, but may also help others at times to contribute to an "overall happiness" of the society they live in, and people they deal with. [helping others, as you know, also can increase their happiness]

Almost everyone in life starts of as a hedonist. The infant learns the world through recreation: blocks, crayons, television. It does not strive for very much beyond learning to walk. It may go to pre-school where it learns through play and gets nap times, and before you know it the child is learning multiplication tables, then they age to a teenager and it becomes apparent that play time is over. (yes!)

But play time isn't over anymore. The incredible phenomenon known as "industrial society" has plunged us into a world of ease. How could I blame kids for not wanting to pay attention to math or English in school? These kids know they're never going to use geometry. They think they don't need English, but that's for another time.

The ease introduced by our latest technology has made our wonderful society too hedonistic. An acronym floats around the internet, "tl;dr". Too Long; Didn't Read. It could be better. The acronym should be tl;ani: "Too Long; Am Not Interested", because that's what it comes down to. If three paragraphs are too much for you to read, then the 15 minutes you spent reading about a new game or other relevant hobby would not have happened. So why did it happen? Because humans are built for hedonism. Industrial society only caters to that fact. Some dumb people don't like to read my articles because they're long and might cause them to think differently, so they reject it and go back to their hedonistic world where all is peachy and they are infallible. It's just too easy today to shirk off pain for pleasure. As technology gets more advanced, the words I have written will only be more relevant.

And We're All Boring Now

2009 statistics: The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%. Second marriage is 60%. Third marriage is 73%. That means when you go to your best friend's wedding, it's likely in ten years that they just may not be together. Why are we so incompatible with each other? Well I'll tell you. Two factors:

The first is that a man's libido is more situated in the body, while a woman's libido is more situated in the mind. Spend an hour researching how testosterone and estrogen affect the brain and it will become apparent to you that we are not intrinsically made for each other. The reason men and women feel attraction is because their body, which affects their mind, tells them that's what they like. Some couples don't share the same interests with their mates, yet they will still deal with each other because they want the eroticism. They need the fulfillment of owning someone, someone that's yours. (note: most everyone does) So, many years later, what a surprise - they're divorcing. Their common interest of eroticism got stale and whatever interests they shared were swallowed up by the nuances. This is officially now more common than uncommon, and the divorce stats are only going to get worse as time goes on. Some people also want to start families, which only helps keep mom and dad together.

The second factor is the culture we live in. It's boring. Why? We have too much shit to do. Too much to believe in, too much to work for. This, ironically, makes our culture boring. In the 1930s, you had some theatre show, or some event. Maybe a town dance. There wasn't much. Kids would just play "sports", or various games together. Every kid likes freeze tag. As technology grew with the population, more things became available to do. Yet this avenue has provided us with such niche interests that people now have trouble finding common ground to relate upon. It is no shock to me that people are so incredibly stale that every party with no marijuana is "lame". You ask people, they say, "Well, what else are we going to do? Dance, play video games?" and it is a shame.

So what can you do?

About the culture? Well, try to enjoy simple things. Did you know some board games are actually pretty fun? They don't even have to be board games, there's great games like Catch Phrase. (at family parties, we actually play catch phrase, it's incredibly entertaining) What's good about these games is that they're so wholesome and - like marijuana - almost everyone can enjoy themselves while playing. Monopoly is a great game to just bullshit over. If you're tired of going to the mall, do errands together. If you have something boring to do, a friend can make it interesting. If you're gonna watch a new movie, invite a friend over. Though I'm pleased that we've grown as a culture to the point where promiscuity is less taboo, and taboos themselves are being slowly eradicated, I can't help but feel it just isn't the right way to go. It's a shame we've become so stale that sex and drugs are all we have in common, so take note of those fun-filled, wholesome activities I've given you. I've omitted obvious (?) suggestions such as "go hiking" or "go for a walk".

Now about your nature... not a whole lot, Barbara. Think, though: is that a bad thing? The reason you enjoy your friends is because you need them around to fulfill social requirements. Well, so do they! It's a mutual benefit. What's more, you even have fun doing it. Don't let it bother you. Unless you are one of these people:

They're Even More Terrible

People who are mean are the worst people of all. They are such a product of their environment, it's sickening. My favorite example is what the gaming world calls "griefing". I will summarize for you: you find flaws in a multiplayer video game, exploit them, and ruin the fun of others. By ruining people's fun, the people get defensive, and either leave or whine about you ruining their entertainment. This, in turn, is funny. I've done it before, back when I was pretending that I really cared about "chaotic neutrality". Playing loud noises over the microphone and people are like TURN THAT SHIT OFF!!! and sometimes they even threaten to beat you up. Even as I type this I still smile, thinking of the fun griefing times I had with others.

And while it was fun, so are a whole lot of other things. A big part of growing up for me was just getting tired of other people's shit. Like, no, I don't want to work all day and come home to you pretending you like child pornography on the microphone. I realized around this time that what I was doing - "griefing" - was not how I wanted to continue having fun. I still have bans on families of servers just because of one time I griefed. The point of all of this is to explain to you how griefing is just another example of hedonistic bullshit.

There is nothing different from the griefer than the group of hip-gangster-wannabes talking loudly at the theater. "Well they're just having fun, screaming at the funny moving pictures on the screen." This behavior cannot have a single positive adjective applied to it. It is narcissistic - the love of yourself so important that you don't care about anyone else. It is hedonistic - joy is most important of all. It is sadistic - their pain = your pleasure. It is selfish - Vael Victus being redundant with his negative adjectives. You may say "griefing" or talking loudly at the movies is not that big a deal, but those adjectives above can all be used to describe the worst of people: pedophiles; thieves; abusive spouses. So in short, all griefers are future pedophiles. Just kidding. ;)

Conclusion

In conclusion, I bring forth a quote that Wiccans say, "do what you want, as long as it hurts no one". How simple is that? If everyone did that, we'd all be so much happier.
Don't worry about feeling like you're using your friends or girlfriends for entertainment and verification in the world, because that's what they're using you for! Though the griefer is selfish, so is everyone from the start. The problem with griefers/narcissists/criminals is that they are too selfish. And though our culture builds us for hedonism, you can be happy with yourself if you're not completely driven on it. You can see how easily criminals tie into the abuse of hedonism. Save your humanity - your utopianism - and reflect on just how hedonistic and self-centered you really are. I believe you will find life is more wholesome when you give back what you receive... in all aspects.

Yes that means stealing from thieves,
Vael Victus

Bonus: How To Be A Happier Person While Not Being An Insufferable Scoundrel To Those Around You

I type this article from an apartment. We live on the bottom, and the other tenants live at the top. 2-family home. We've had various tenants throughout the years, from my auntie, to people who kick cats down the stairs, to finally the ones we've had for about ten years now - I'll be naming them Bob and Mary. We're pretty close with Bob now, and Mary last summer would even invite me over to the garage for a hamburger on the grill. They're, wholely, good people. Bob's just a little aggresive.

One day I go down to the cellar and my dryer no longer works. It looked like it was plugged in, but it simply wasn't working. I figured, oh whatever, me and Bob & Mary are good friends, he won't mind if I use his washer just once. Well turns out ours did work, and it was just disconnected from its plug - their dryer plug was in ours. It would later be revealed that they unplug it whenever they go on extended leave, and they merely (being dumb) unplugged the wrong dryer. So fast forward about three days, and they're back. My sister comes into my room telling me that Bob yelled at her (he's pretty intimidating) and to go talk to him downstairs. Bob is fuming. I lied on the spot, because frankly, I was intimidated, and I said we'll figure out who used your dryer etc. etc. Many days pass, and it turns out he felt pretty bad about yelling at my sister, and Mary talked to him and he calmed down. I told the truth and he said it was fine, he understood, and that was that. We're back on good terms with them.

The devil is in the details, however: Bob knew we used his washing machine because there were a pair of shoes in there. ( I took them out and put them back in, for my laundry load ) Bob informed me that he knew we used his dryer because he always tilts the shoes upsidedown. Let me summarize: Bob is paranoid that people will use his electricity, so he unplugs his dryer and tilts his shoes upsidedown. If Bob had anything better to do with his time, like normal people do, he would not have filled it with the potential to be angry by realizing people were using his dryer. Especially when those people were us, and he knew we were trustworthy, and I'd've told him anyway.

My sister, being shell shocked, felt the obligation to text my mom about it. She was on vacation. It was me and my sister living in the house for two weeks. So my sister, rather than just let it be, was so self-centered that she felt she had to spread her problem to mom so mom "knew" - and here it is, a major factor in what makes people horrible. There is absolutely nothing to be gained from telling someone, on the first day of their vacation, that we cannot handle ourselves. So mom calls me, "What happened with Bob?" and I'm like, "What." because I just couldn't believe it. What did my sister hope to gain from telling her? I confronted her about it, and she said she just wanted mom to "know". Let me translate: her life is so boring that she cannot gain fulfillment from anything but telling mom that. Her days consist of facebook and taking a lot of naps. She'll see friends, too, as any teenager should.

Perhaps the culprit is boredom. Bob is so bored that he must plant his shoes in the right way, and Sister is so bored that she must aggravate everyone else about the issue. Do you know I never get bored? Never. There's always something to do. Should I code, should I compose? I have a backlog of interesting games and movies/shows/animes to watch. Perhaps that's why I'm so pleasant. Mother does the same thing, by the way. Everything has to have a double-meaning for her. She'll watch her stupid preachers talking about Christ, yet she won't do a damn thing to change her ways. (ironically, the preachers even talk of that sometimes) I can't imagine her life is very fun, as she mostly wittles her time away with chores, spending time with her boyfriend, or falling asleep to the television.

That's all for the fabulous bonus section. Tah tah for now. Bonus bonus: no, I don't have terribly mean things to say about everyone, in case you're wondering. I have mean things to say about myself, too.